Are you doing more work to get your partner to change than he's doing to change? This includes emotional work, ruminating, thinking about the relationship, worrying about the relationship, trying to find help and resources, sending your partner links and blogs to read when he is doing nothing to take leadership on his own.
It won't work.
In order to truly change we have to want to change who we are and be 100% committed to the process to make those changes happen.